What I learnt from my clavicle/collar bone fracture

The last 3 weeks have been a nightmare to me. The week of December 14^th, 2008 that had started on such a high note with parties, weddings and wedding receptions to attend suddenly came crashing down on me on the 18^th of December. After having a great party at work while getting out to get back home in the evening, I got thrown off my two wheeler. I landed on my head and the helmet impact ended up breaking my collar bone.

That was it. I had to learn living life in an entirely new way. After having spent a lot over 25 and a little under 26 years with a fully functional right hand, I was suddenly forced to use just my left hand. The hand that lay neglected and not as strong as my right hand. Suddenly I was forced to comb my hair with just my left hand, type with just my left hand, brush, shave etc. with just my left hand. In fact an even worse ordeal was being forced to have a sponge bath and not a proper bath.

This is what I learnt in the three weeks since the accident.

1.     It is super difficult to comb your hair with your left hand if you have never earlier done it. You hair will simply refuse to set into the hairstyle you have sported all these years.

2.     People who offer to help you comb your hair will suddenly appear from all the directions to help you. Their sole primary reason to help you is to try new hairstyles on you that you never agreed to or let them try on you. These people can be anyone from your family and specifically your mom and siblings.

3.     Brushing your teeth will suddenly acquire a new meaning. You would now be fighting with the brush, tooth and nail to get it right. Your teeth will seem to be totally out of shape and your nails would start digging into your skin all around the lips and mouth region.

4.     Cleaning your tongue is going to be equally difficult almost choking you half to death each time you attempt it.

5.     You would never be able to successfully wash your face with one hand. The water simply refuses to stay in the cavity of your left hand. The same applies when you try to gargle.

6.     Wearing trousers can be a super fight. You never know whether you must push your left leg first or the right leg first. Most of the time you end up almost on the floor had you not decided to support yourself against the wall of the room/bathroom.

7.     Buttoning the trousers is even difficult if your trousers are at least 2 years old and you used to force yourself into them. People suddenly start realizing that you have grown large by a few inches and start suggesting you to do something about your weight.

8.     For the first two weeks you don’t know whether the shirt is getting on you or you are getting into the shirt. It is equally difficult keeping your hand comfortably within the confines of your shirt. It somehow seems to be tight enough to strangulate you and your blood vessels.

9.     The towel somehow tied across your waist which was your faithful companion when it came to keeping you covered suddenly discovers it has a mind of its own and must not stay put. It decides to start getting loose and slipping down at the most compromising and embarrassing situations.

10.  People start giving you all kinds of suggestions for home remedy medicines ranging from bone soups to bloods of pigeons. It does not matter to them if you would even faint at the very sound of it.

11.  You are not allowed anywhere near your two wheeler if you have a younger sibling. He suddenly finds the courage to ask you to back off!

12.  You suddenly find yourself leaving the dining table last. You can for nuts not eat with your left hand and the plate offers no help either. It just decides that its job is to rotate uncontrolled and not allow you to eat. You decide to eat lesser at lunch and end up gobbling more in-betweens! That starts off the story of how much would you eat and can’t you eat full at the table! Duh!

13.  You are forced to type with just your left hand leaving you with pains between your thumb and index fingers due to all that stretching and contracting. The mouse is no help either because you have never used it with your left hand. Swapping the button only results in howls from friends when they come down to help you in tight situations!

By the way today is somewhere midway through the fourth week and I am back after a visit to the doctor yesterday. Finally I have been given the permission to eat with my right hand type with both my hands. It now feels so very comfortable. Hopefully I should be back to biking by sometime around mid to end of February. That would mean freedom to me. And it also means I can start bullying my brother back!

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