10 things you must never get caught doing in the Office Cab

It has been a little over 3 weeks since I started taking the office cab to work. All thanks to my collar bone fracture I had blogged a few days back about.

Now, just like any office cab/shuttle, mine also has an assortment of people contained by a majority of guys but actually ruled by the minority called girls. Although it’s not as per Madam Mamta Banerjee’s taste of 33% reservation for women, it still has a good reservation of 28% women! That makes it 2 women and 5 men in the same cab. Things go awesome for the two women (I would prefer to refer to them as girls just because I would love to call the boys as boys!) because we boys are sacrificing enough to give them maximum seating space even if it means crouching into the foetal position in the corner of the cab.

Being an accident victim I have been given the privilege of being seated in the front seat with the driver for maximum comfort. However, it has its own advantages and disadvantages! Over the past few days I have been experiencing them a little at a time!

1. Never try your antics to look at the beautiful girl seated diagonally behind you in the driver’s mirror on your left! 9 out of 10 times you will find out that she noticed you checking her out!
2. Never talk too much thinking you would impress those girls! Girls are like fishes! Try to impress them too much and they will scamper miles away from you! More over you will be considered a show off!
3. Never talk too less! You are bound to be considered a snob! The girls will still stay miles away from you. A very thin line exists between a snob and a show off, pulling off the perfect balance is difficult and an art!
4. Never ever try to eaves drop the conversation that the girls are having. You will end up dazed, shaken and all nutty trying to figure out what they talk! They may continue talking about you and you may never know! They have such coded languages.
5. Don’t try to discuss music or movies with the girls. They never like your choice any way. Or rather let me put it this way – they never like you so your choice does not matter any way!
6. A girl may continue to talk on the phone until her wit’s end and still not be spoken about. But if you as a guy do that, the first thing to be analyzed is your brash language! Next, the junior you so very dominated in school would have her revenge and would take pot shots at you for your accented regional dialect! As though she never knew you were not allowed to talk in regional languages back in school!
7. Never discuss your school life or current school events with your junior. The girl you have so far been trying to impress would suggest you to take it offline there by showing her dislike to that subject!
8. Your blog is your blog! For nuts don’t discuss what all you put on it! She is not going to let it into her head by any chance!
9. On your way back home, it is obligatory for you to go straight back home from work. Don’t ever let the girl catch you some place otherwise! Your reputation is going to be tarnished!
10. To add to 9, even if you are caught, don’t let her catch you tweeting with your broken hand and licking a cold orange candy with the other! If you are caught, you better have a strong reason to be doing so! Sorry offering a bite out of the candy does not help!

Now you see how better off we guys are driving/riding to work everyday? You hum songs to yourself, nobody would notice you. You try pulling off stunts and nobody would tell a thing to you! As an added plus, you can even appreciate the awesome moustache that the cop on your road has hoping to get a snap clicked with him someday and nobody would brand you crazy!

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