dKing Unleashed » love

10 Things “Being Married” teaches you

Nirav Thakker — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 10:00:33 +0000

Most of you out there may want to roll a piece of paper and hit thwack on my head and ask, “Where the fuck have you been, you assole?” after my recent almost Sanyaas from both blogging and social networking, whether online or in physical. But let me tell you, it’s not all my fault. It’s the fault of being a man with “responsibilities” now! There so many things to do, just so many! It sometimes feels like you just cannot manage to take time out for yourself, let alone blogging! What’s more, work plays an even bad spoil sport and keeps loading up on you! It’s like the Universe’s trick to get the worst on you to get the best out in you!

Let’s hit the nail right home! I am itching to write this blog post! By the way I am almost done with a month and a half of being married, which has on its own taught me so much as a precursor that I wonder sometimes what more could be left to teach. But I am proven wrong each time!

It teaches you how to share, your time I mean! You suddenly find that a large, lion’s share of your time is reserved for your family. No more sitting inside the room and reading that book you recently bought! It is important that you spend time with your family when they are watching mindless and dumb fucked serials on the idiot box. Well, you can’t read the book even before you go to sleep either! You need to understand that that time has been solely reserved for and bought by your wife. It cannot be invested in something as dumb as reading a book!
Your laptop that used to be the apple of your eye can now only be used for 2 things. One, to check and reply emails to, well if it’s an important mail, say a job mail, she needs to see too; why, you ask, then refer to point 1. Two, to watch movies in the room when she is not sleepy! It does not matter that you are sleepy; she needs company, a warm cuddly teddy bear that she can place her head on, cry and sniffle on, hug when she is scared and even kick when she is angry. That’s the primary reason the movie was to be watched inside the room!
Your Mom was kind enough to let go of the duty of not cooking once in a way when you said, rather announced that you would not take lunch from home the next day but have it at work. Your looks at you with suspicion, as though you have committed the biggest crime of your life by announcing that! She would want to know the minutest detail of why you don’t want to take it. I wonder if all wives sometimes start to think that we have a second woman in our life that we are planning to have lunch with!
You are no longer allowed to take any decisions alone! Of all the decisions that you are allowed to take, 99.99% of them need to be discussed with your wife. The only decision you are allowed to take alone is when you need to visit the loo!
You learn how to keep the other person amused. So it if you find someone coming over and telling you that you look extra cheerful, give credit to yourself, you are learning fast! By the way, this skill is expected to be kept in use all through your life. Your wife really expects you to keep her amused, sometimes with antics like a monkey or a joker!
Planning and execution are keys to any successful project. Well, you have heard this a thousand times and probably even practiced it a thousand times when you were at work or when you were at home before being married. Now it is all about executing without the plan! Out of the blues your wife would announce I am bored and demand a ride in the city. What she actually means is “Boy, I am really mind fucked right now and need to get out of here, take me to the best place in the city but make sure you cut out the traffic and all that noise!” And what would you do? Read on!
It teaches you to be a better chauffer! You are suddenly the personal chauffer to the woman you love the most apart from your mother! You are suddenly awesome when it comes to navigating the roads, something that as a pre marriage guy you sucked big time at!
It teaches you to exercise, no matter what kind of tantrums you throw, it will not work. Those countless attempts that you made and got away with when you avoided going shopping with your Mom will just not work here! She says you need to exercise. What she means is, “Do you know how much a Coolie would cost to lug all those bags around? You anyways have no better job being home, get out there and carry those heavy bags for me!”
Marriage teaches you to save. By save I don’t mean saving money, that’s what your wife would do all the time, that’s if you have someone like mine. By save I meant saving up on your stock of lies and your skin! Every married man out there knows it is a matter of survival that has to be executed perfectly! After all, you don’t want to come back home and see angry faces of both your Mom and your Wife.
The best and the most important, you learn to “Love” and to “Care”. You learn to love the fact that someone cares so much for you. You learn to love the fact that someone back home waits so patiently for you to get home so that she can be her true self. You learn to love the fact that although you are just a phone call away, she cares not to disturb you at work! You learn to love the fact that both of you care so much for each other and are truly in love with each other.

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Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!

Nirav Thakker — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 10:20:17 +0000

Love main saala kya kya nahin karna padta. There are times jab you are all out and knocked out after work and the meethi si aawaaz at the other end of the phone, slightly flattering you, slightly doing some maska on you and with loads of pouted lips tells you something. Kya karoge? You can do absolutely nothing. You know you are a toy in her hand, yet you gracefully accept your death. Just because saala Love ke liye kuch bhi karega! Then comes that phase when you decide I am going to rebel, saala bahut sun liya! I am going to tell her I am not going to help you. You just open your mouth to say that and you hear her mildly sobbing! You let go. Why? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi Karega!

Now those of you wondering what all is possible, after all, ek ladki kya maang sakti hai, check it out for yourself!

You are in the middle of Bermuda Triangle and you receive a call from your would be or already significant other. She says, “Suno, its X’s anniversary tomorrow. What should I gift her?” You reply, “Anything sweetie.” Pat comes the reply, “No but I want you to suggest.” You tell her that you will think over and let her know in a while. Poor you, you google it, tweet it get the details and then get back to her. “Jaan what do you think about this as a gift?” And all the reply that you get is, “But I already bought something else for her. I just wanted to know what you think we could gift her!” There go your precious hours of research into the drain. You can’t even regret it. Why? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!
A hectic week and to top that you are stuck with a set of effing Baboons everywhere, just about everywhere. Out comes the thunder from the blues. “Suno, it is Y’s birthday the next week. P is planning to do something different for her this time. She has asked all of us to record a minute long video to wish X.” The so very sweet and gullible you say “Good. So how did it go?” She, “The video came out ok, but you know all of them told me and even I was thinking…” You, like the fish that is almost caught in the net have your heart pounding, waiting for her to complete, listen “… that why don’t you also record a video wishing her?” you tell her that it is not possible and would try and all that stuff. You put it off for a few days, but then come that final ultimatum one fine night when you are talking. “Don’t you love me?” “I love you dear” “Then why can’t you do this for me?” Bakra kat gaya! The very next morning you record the video and send it to her. Kyun? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!
It’s just a normal day and you are trying to be all nice and romantic with her. Suddenly she says “I am thinking of the different innovative ideas we can use on Z’s birthday. We all are planning to make a book of nice things about her. Q has already written 3 pages already for her.” You have no idea where this is going, but you listen. Then comes the Bhramastra, catching you totally unaware, “Do you love me?” “Yes, very much” “Can you not do me a favor?” “Of course dear, after all your wish is my command” “Then you know na how bad I am at writing creatively, write something for her on my behalf na?” “Ok, I will write a few lines and message it to you.” “Not a few lines, I want at least 3 pages, after all I have to write as much as Q!” Then she tells you for 3 continuous nights about Z and you talk nothing else but that. Finally you send her 6 pages of a well drafted piece of writing! Why? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!
Your well drafted piece of writing reaches her alright. She sees your handwriting and says, “Jaan you have such terrible handwriting, how am I ever going to comprehend what you have written.” You sit up with her all through while she is writing to tell her what you have written. Something you never did even with your best friend when you wrote assignments during college! Kyun? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!
It’s her birthday. You have already thought up everything that you could possibly gift her. You have even indirectly asked her for over 15 days what gift she wants. You at times feel like you are getting hit continuously under the belt. Still you stick on. Finally you wait for the D-Day and send her a gift after you know what everyone has gifted. You lie to her that the courier got returned. She scolds you for overspending and asks you to keep the gift with you till you meet her next. But you still send. That too after paying double for the shipping charges. Why? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!
For her birthday, you spend hours at a stretch to buy a sweet card for her. You put your best talent at work and write 4 lines of best poetry, shout at your brother for not couriering it at time. She receives it and says, “The card was nice” You inquire if she read the words in it. She says, “No, it was too much and you know na I don’t like to read so much. More over, why did you even buy the card?” and there goes the card into the drawer, probably never to see the light of the day. You still think and plan how you are going to make her feel good next time round. Kyun? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!
She suddenly plans to go out for a movie with a bunch of friends. It’s around 4 in the evening and you are feeling super frustrated after slogging your butts off at work. There comes a call, you see it is her, you are eager to talk and with all your love in your voice you tell “Hello” and she says, “Listen I am with my friends and I want you to talk to them, I have come out for a movie with A, B, C, D, E and F, I will just give the phone to A” you protest telling you don’t even know them. But all is futile; the phone is already in A, B, C, D, E, or F’s hand. You are left with no option but to speak to them. Finally she comes back on call and says “Why did you speak so less?” You have no answer, but still manage to stay calm and put. Why? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!
You go out shopping with her. Much to your amusement, she says that she is not going to buy anything. Gullible, you fall for it. By the time you are back home, your pocket seems light, very light. No very very light. Your protests against buying those extra pair of slippers, that new pair of jeans, that Kurti that she bought all goes futile. You relent on the only condition that you are not going to carry it all alone. She agrees. She picks up the heaviest bag and you can’t see that and take all the bags from her, become her coolie. Kyun? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!
You love that stubble of yours. Your friends tell you that you look awesome with it. You have worked hard maintaining it for years now. Shaving sparingly. Suddenly she comes in your life and tells you to get rid of the chidiya ka ghosla from your face, you protest. Out come the tears. Out comes the shaving blade. You are now clean shaven much against your wishes. Why? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!
Lastly, you see a nice group of girls discussing girly stuff. You, with their permission of course, start following their conversations. They give you tips and tricks on how to make her happy. You try them. Out comes the question, “I thought you never had any girlfriends. How are you then giving me all that I want but never told you? What are you doing behind my back? I think you are spending too much time online. Once I am there, I don’t want you to spend any time online!” You, like the most obedient kid around the house nod your head and agree. Kyun? Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!

Well, if you have even been through any one of this, then my friend, you need to worry and act fast. You have just been bitten by the Love bug and it is going to knock you out cold anytime soon. Well, if there is no go, then you can stop worrying. Actually there is no use worrying. Just start training yourself to be the obedient one!

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Yadein aur Tamannaein!

Nirav Thakker — Thu, 28 May 2009 05:06:52 +0000

dil mein aaj kuch aisa samaya
yaad koi humein woh khaas insaan aaya
zindagi yeh haseen hai pal, do pal
tamanna hai bahon main unke guzre hamari saans, kal aaj aur kal!

दिल मैन आज कुच ऐसा समाया,
याद कोइ हमैन वोह खास इन्सान आया!
जिन्दगि यह हसीन है पल, दो पल,
तमन्ना है बाहोन मैन उन्के गुजरे हमरी सान्स, कल आज और कल!

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Dil ki Aawaz!!

Nirav Thakker — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:51:00 +0000

kuch panktiyaan likhna chahta hun,
labz nahin bante!!!
dil ke durbaar main chiraag-e-roshni jalaana chahta hun,
Roshni nahin milti!!!
Pyaar ke do bol sunata hun,
bas awaaz nahin thamti!!!!

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Man ka Toofaan

Nirav Thakker — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 10:59:00 +0000

aaj na jaane kaisi yeh rut aayee,
man ka chain uda le gayee!
kal tak jo they khoye khoye se,
aaj hain bade ukhde ukhde se!

man main ye utha mera sawaal,
kya humne khada kiya tha koi bawaal?
is toofaan se gire man main,
jaane kahan kho gaya hai mera chain!

badal se gaye hain hum bhi,
badal se gaye hain wo bhi!
ikraar hamara pasand aaya nahin,
pooche bina chain hume aaya nahin!

kho diya hai ek achcha dost shaayad,
ya pehchaan liya hai zindagi ka koi sach naayaab?
man main uthe sawaal hazaar,
dil main se jawaab aaye na ek na chaar!!

Hopefully my last poem on love. I shall now never commit the mistake of falling in love!!! atleast not until i get married to some one!!

hey hang on a sec!!!!! who is that beautiful one that goes there!! time for me to spin more yarn for some body new now!!!!
till then!! Sayonara!!!

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Yes I Did it!! Or did I actually??

Nirav Thakker — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 08:22:00 +0000

There is only one thing that crosses my mind after all that happened today. Yes I did it!! I finally decided to take the plunge and tell her that I truly love her!! But what worries me the most is that it left both of is numb and stunned!!! She did not expect “ME” to pop the million dollar question obviously and I did not expect her to call me “Crazy”!!!! A plain simple “Nirav, can we talk over this later??” would have done wonders!! Now I am left wondering about what I have in store for me on Monday!! Whatever happens, I will not give up!! I am good looking, I am tall and I am an intelligent romantic!!! She is beautiful!! Telling anything more about her would be as good as insulting she and I don’t want to do that to my love!!
I have my parents in confidence and that is my biggest strength! Though I am aware that they may have had a thousand plans for me, I am also sure that they would accept with open arms the girl that I tell them I love. But here it is not just any girl! It is her, the most beautiful one!!! Even more beautiful than probably the moon itself!!
They say love drives you to the limits. I have experienced that myself!! While last Monday I was at the lowest of my self confidence, today I have all positive energy oozing out of me!! I am now only hoping that this would carry me across tonight and tomorrow!!!

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Dil ki Baat

Nirav Thakker — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 05:51:00 +0000

na dekha suraj main usko,
na dekha taaron main usko,
chand si hai meri mehbooba,
chandni main hai dekha usko!!

uske pyaar mein main hua deewaana,
machalta raha, jaise shamma ke pas parwaana,
uske pyaar mein hai mera dil dooba,
jald hi ab uske yeh hai bataana!!!

samajhne ka bahut waqt de diya,
pyaar jataane ki karenge ab kriya,
nahin hone waala koi ajooba,
baat kar ke kahenge ishq ke samundar main tair liya!!

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Pyaar ke woh pal

Nirav Thakker — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 15:03:00 +0000

akele, tanha baithe hain hum,
yaad aa rahe hain woh pal!
inme humne mehsoos kiye the gham,
dil main jo macha gaye hulchul!!

hum se izhaar kiya nahin jaata,
beete din humein abhi bhi hain yaad!
raat ko theek so nahin paata,
shayad chain ayega marne ke baad!!

din ke ek ek pal ginte hain,
waqt kat ta nahin!
kyun itna chahte hain unhein
yeh shayad pata unhein bhi nahin!!

kabhi to nazre milayenge,
dil ke armaan poore honge hamare!
tab khushi se hum jagmageinge,
jaise madhu se mast bhanwre!!

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Tum

Nirav Thakker — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 15:05:00 +0000

tumhari adaon pe lakhon hain deewane,
patate tumhein kahin nikal na jaye zamane!!
khoobsurati ka nayab ajooba ho tum,
ret ki tarah haat se fisal jaati ho tum!!

chanchal machli sa tumhara yeh mann,
na jaane kitno ko de gaya hoga yeh darshan!!
katilana muskaan ho deti,
har ladke ka dil ho machalati!!!

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Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hua Hai??

Nirav Thakker — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 12:53:00 +0000

Khafa hum bhi nahin,
Khafa woh bhi nahin!
Dooriyan kam bhi nahin,
Dooriyan zyada bhi nahin!

Jaane anjaane main kar baithe hum pyaar,
Ilaaj is rog ka koi to hoga yaar??
Itni jaldi mera janaza na niklne do mere yaar,
Abhi zindagi ke dekhe hain bas din chaar!!

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Kyun???

Nirav Thakker — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 10:43:00 +0000

kyun nahin keh pata unse ke mujhe kitna pyaar hai?
jaan se bhi pyaara mujhe woh insaan hai!!
jata jata ke thak gaye,kyun samajhne se unhein inkaar hai??
kabhi baton baaton main unse takraar hona,
meethi si us muskaan ko chupa lena!!
yahi adaein mujhe unka karti hai deewana!!!
samjha kar bhi dil kyun nahin samajh pata?

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Another of My Poems!!!

Nirav Thakker — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 05:50:00 +0000

Bhool Gaye

junoon ki in hadon ko…
mohabbat ki in rahon ko…
na jaane kab hum paar kar gaye???

dil ki in baton ko…
anjaane jazbaaton ko…
na jaane hum kyun thukra gaye???

ji to karta tha unse kuch kahein…
manzil ke kuch lamhein unse bayan karein…
na jaane hum kyun na kar sake???

aaj in anjaane rahon mein…
waqt ke in pehgamon mein…
na jaane hum kyun hain kho gaye???

labon pe baat aate ruk jaati hai…
dil ki dhadkan dhadak kar ruk jaati hai…
na jaane kyun hum muskurana bhool gaye???

lamba yeh safar hai…
sath na koi humsafar hai…
na jaane kyun hum humsafar saath lena bhool gaye???

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dKing Unleashed » love

10 Things “Being Married” teaches you

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Kyunki Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!

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Yadein aur Tamannaein!

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Yes I Did it!! Or did I actually??

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Pyaar ke woh pal

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Tum

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Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hua Hai??

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Kyun???

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